beach words

words that muddle and words that confuse
undone and unraveled to smooth out the creases
words that divide and words that unite us
juggling their meanings to show who our boss is

words that you give me and that I reflect
make me giggle inside as their meaning escapes me
words that determine the sole way to connect
make my heart jump to any page and denounce me

words that I thought were only my own
become universal in thought and in speech
words that spark a laugh or a moan
can be heard from the house on the beach.

night

Tressling through these dark roads
darkness wraps around each gap in the sky
your black arms envelop this wasted body
you haunt me
I shiver
fearful of what you might do

so familiar

Touch me and I'll know your name
recognise you with eyes closed
so familiar you are to me

Listened to the only thing
that makes a lump appear somewhere
so familiar you are to me

Saw a man with long soft hair
reached out to touch what wasn't there
so familiar you are to me

bumped into a hardened chest
excused myself, ignored the rest
so familiar you are to me

knew you wouldn't kiss her then
and left her to a thousand men
how familiar I am to you

A world without

Try to imagine a song with no lyrics
Does your face break into a frown?
Imagine a day without light
do your eyes begin to squint?
Imagine running nowhere
do you sweat profusely?
Imagine someone laughing and noone can hear
does that amuse you?

promises and lies

A promise is a beautiful dress made to fit, deceivingly delightful when on but slipping when touched by someone else's hands
A lie is like a cigarette exhaled in a puff of smoke to relax the mind
while others cough and splutter.

tenderness

Tender like furious flesh on a hot day
Tender like birds in springtime singing their outdated but long-awaited love song
Tender like your lips padded with sweat
chewed and chapped after a day of city pressures
Tender is the evening that waits for our dear souls
and together we shall be if tenderness is the appropriate word
and if tenderness allows it, we will embrace her
with her beautiful curves and her misleading warm smile
she is nowhere to be seen
only felt through thin and thick air
And yet she does not escape
but rests gently cupping your sweet face with her hands
kissing the velvet that layers your bones
carefully moulding the triangle of your jaw
And then a tear falls...
Tenderness is relief from everything that exists
tenderness is a breath of air on first awakening
and you breathe so well
it comforts me to cup my hand around your face
and feel so little between hand and skin
that air is pure
free from thoughts of labour even love
that breath is the first
first and last are sacred
a hot flush ripples my skin as
as I think of my absent love
I dance around you like a wavering leaf
because you shape and colour the nature that I have
and I look to you for meek approval
of something so needless and merciless.

truth

I haven't seen you for two hours
Stubborness and deep regret
carry me unwillingly through
lifting me out of peaceful slumber
knocking on truth's front door
but he went out with love
in his own decisive manner
they usually play the same game.

mindfulness

Little by little I start again,
to uncover a personal world,
white soft snow, collecting on a rolling ball
its journey clear but uncontrolled
is lighter than the machinery of stillness.
A haphazardous fortune
or mapped out misfortune
I rest my vacuumed mind
But follow its much visited path
that makes circular journeys
around instinct and memory
weaving in and out of synapses
touring each sense cautiously
and looking for the right one for now.

CULTS

Helping me through the working day.....


http://www.myspace.com/cultscultscults

Le gamin au velo

I've decided to have a Cecile de France week starting with this gorgeous picture of her in her latest film by the Dardenne brothers.... unique talent all around.

HEREAFTER

Last night, I watched Clint Eastwood's scarcely acclaimed new drama fantasy film, which, for the challenging and often unpopular subject matter that is the afterlife, I think he did a great job. Three parallel stories of three different people affected by death in different but ultimately similar ways. I was surprised that I was glued to the screen, given that it recieved lukewarm reviews due to its apparant oversentimentality but the film world is almost an afterlife of its own, so the two go hand in fantasy hand. I love you, Clint.

The most interesting person I found today was...

Mor Karbasi who is playing at Rich Mix on Tuesday 24th May and whose main project is Ladino music, the ancient music of exiled Jews from Spain. Almost eery.

Adrian brody plays Dali in New Woody Allen film

My ideal birthday

- wake up in Iceland and have a morning dip in the blue lagoon before breakfast
- big buffet breakfast in veggie B and B I know in Yorkshire
- walk it off on the Gozo coast
-have lunch with my twin in Warsaw. Then Blikler, for doughnuts
-take a yoga class to retain youthful looks and prevent speedy ageing.
- eat cake on a rooftop with a sunset. Anywhere. The cake has to contain both fruit and chocolate. In fact, forget cake, just go straight to dark chocolate and a small portion of fruit, nothing to rival my five -a day.
- See the Kills live at a private gig in an old London pub in Maida Vale
- Have a champagne picnic on  a beach or on the top of Mount Sinai
-walk down Mount Sinai in the dark alone just to see if I am still scared of the dark, a true sign of adulthood. The champagne should bring me up to speed.
- the rest can only be imagined and spontaneous because planning ruins everything.

If you're a lady and looking for......

A ROLE MODEL....
Look no further

http://www.pinkstinks.co.uk/

Yoga conference

  If you happen to be in the New York area, which I am not, separated wholly by the Atlantic abyss, then this is for you.  My unrelaxed self and a small issue of a full-time job has hindered my own attendance and even an attempt to cross my very own oceans of stress into the humbling world of yoga and stress-free living is futile at present. My own yearning has led me downward dog style to the 4 day Yoga Journal conference in New York and I think reading about it must give me at least half a step towards enlightenment, if not a full one for sharing this with you...


http://www.yjevents.com/

I am in need of some bacchanalia...

"It ain't no use putting up your umbrella till it rains" Alice Caldwell Rice