The French perspective on affairs is very different: the attitude there is more philosophical and more tolerant. "Affairs are not actively recommended, but they are not prohibited either," says Hakim in her book. Contrast the UK, where (despite the fact that affairs are very common), the language around them is loaded with negativity (think "cheating", "dishonesty", "love rat"). When Jane heard of Steve's extramarital relationship, she felt "betrayed": but why, exactly, did it have to be a betrayal? Relationship psychotherapist Paula Hall of Relate agrees with much of the logic of Hakim and Barker. Her line is that if anyone thinks there's a safe place in a marriage, they're kidding themselves: marriage, like everything else in life, is risky.

http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/features/the-real-secret-of-staying-married-8168012.html