Devon like Venice? Ahem

 
Reasons why latest immigrants should not move to Britain, according to the Guardian:

▶ Come to the 2013 European Capital of Obesity. It's Contagious!
▶ The Streets Aren't Paved With Gold, Even Under All the Vomit.
▶ If You're Coming With an HMV Voucher, You're Too Late.
▶ Britain: We Just Made the Citizenship Test Really Hard.
▶ Devon: It's Like Venice, But Without Any Gondolas or Bridges.
▶ The Great British Countryside: Soon to Be Blighted By High Speed Rail.
▶ The United Kingdom: If You Think This Queue's Long, You Should See the One to Get Out.
▶ Recession-wise, We've Only Just Got Started.
▶ Scotland: Where the Benefits of a Mediterranean Diet Become Apparent Through Stark Contrast.
▶ Britain Gives You Cancer.
▶ If We Knew You Were Coming, We'd Have Built Some Housing, Maintained Our Infrastructure and Restarted Our Economy.
▶ The Quaint Pubs You See in Travel Supplements Are All Tesco Metros Now.
▶ It's Really Not Like Downton Abbey At All – But Come Dine With Me Is Terrifyingly Accurate.
▶ The English Riviera, Land of Cruel Irony.